Monday Morning Smile XXXXVII – Oh Yeah?! and Other great comebacksPosted: May 13, 2013
I hope everyone treated their mother to a great day. All mothers deserve it. Where would the world be if there was no soothing voice that somehow makes a scrape feel better. The world is a kinder, gentler place one hot chocolate, and one bowl of chicken soup at a time. To all of you mothers that are reading this, one day for you is not enough. Happy Mother’s Day.
We spent Mother’s day at a frigid, wind swept, and generally hellish baseball diamond. Just as were were shivering on our misery, the Baseball Gods chuckled, snapped their fingers and fired down hail at a 45 degree angle. Perfect. Or so we thought. Topping off the afternoon, my kid pops a groin running the bases and limps off like a fragile thoroughbred.
Read a great comeback in teh paper the other day, and it got me thinking about some of the great comebacks…..so enjoy….
A warmup…It was mealtime during a flight on American airlines. “Would you like dinner?” the flight attendant asked John, seated in front. “What are my choices?” John asked. “Yes or no,” she replied.
On to the really good ones…..
1. David Niven – of course the Brits, with that wonderful understaded delivery are the best. In the 1974 Oscars when a streaker interupted the indomidable David Niven, he had this to say.
“the only laugh that man will ever get in his life is by stripping off and showing his shortcomings”
2. George Bernard Shaw – famous Irish author & playwright
In 1894, Shaw was enjoying a successful opening night for his play. He joined the actors onstage, basking in the glory of overwhelming applause. One lone heckler began to boo loudly from the audience. Undaunted, Shaw replied:
“I quite agree with you, my friend, but what can we two do against a whole houseful of the opposite opinion?”
Bam! Score one for the witty Irishman.
3. Winston Churchill – British Prime Minister, orator, and (in)famous drunk.
One night, at a 1912 party, Churchill apparently got quite boisterous (i.e. sloshed) and irked American Nancy Astor. At her wit’s end, Astor stated,
“Winston, if you were my husband, I’d put poison in your coffee.”
Churchill replied: “Nancy, if you were my wife, I’d drink it.”
4. Winston Churchill (again) – he had a ton of ’em….
The Zing: “Mr. Churchill, you are drunk!”
The Comeback: “Yes, and you, Madam, are ugly but tomorrow I shall be sober …”
Oooooo, now that’s a good one.
5. And finally our own Pierre Trudeau, Prime Minister, bon vivant, debater extrodinaire, (and father of Liberal Leader Justin Trudeau)
Upon hearing that U. S. President Nixon, muttering, had called him an asshole…..
“I have been called worse things by better men”
And a Monday Smile wouldn’t be complete without a great Dilbert ending….